Love2HateU is rock on

We love to hate celebrities, berate them, calling them names, criticize them sitting on our couch munching away popcorn as they keep mouthing away some of the lousiest dialogues we've ever heard...or so we think. But what if they pop out of your TV screen, magically appear before you, put a gun on your head and say "Huh! so you were saying...?" That's pretty much the premise of Star World's latest television show called 'Love2HateU'. The show is presented by model-turned-actor Arjun Rampal and it makes celebrities come face to face with their haters.


I just watched the first show and came away pretty impressed. Each one-hour episode will have two celebrities facing their haters. The hater is a common man that the producers of the show seem to scout for, bring them to a place on the pretext of taking some interview on why s/he hates the celebrity so much. Basically, to make him or her get comfortable with the criticism. The celebrity is nearby and watching all this action from some hidden cameras. Once the hater is done talking, the celebrity walks out and meets the hater and takes him surprise. Then, both of them have a chat moderated by show presenter Arjun Rampal, sort out their 'differences', all the whole hoping that the hate-o-meter comes down!

The concept is original on Indian television and the show seems to be well directed. Rampal was the first celebrity to meet his hater, followed by director Madhur Bhandarkar. I liked Rampal's encounter more than Bhandarkar's. The former was light, breezy and the camaradie between Rampal and his hater, Farhan, a stand-up comedian and writer was entertaining. Farhan's criticism of Rampal was caustic- calling him furniture and expressionless- and I wouldn't be surprised if Rampal would have wanted to punch him. Rampal defended his mannerisms, especially Farhan's contest that he should not have won the national award for the movie 'Rock On'. Rampal made Farhan to stand-up comedy on the sets (The Comedy Store, Lower Parel, Mumbai; because Farhan is a stand-up comedian) and crack his usual bunch of Arjun Rampal jokes. That was silly in a funny way. Rampal followed up the act with his own, berating Farhan's favourite bashing subject: Arjun Rampal! That was better.

Love2HateU is a refreshing change from all the soppy soaps in the name of entertainment that we get to see on TV these days. The choice of celebrities will play a vital role to the show's success. Interesting celebrities can keep the show alive and the banter kicking. Next week is author Chetan Bhagat and producer / director Farah Khan, but I am already looking forward to Farah Khan's episode.

Le Pain Quotidien

Yesterday was my second visit to Le Pain Quotidien (LPQ), a bakery-cum-patisserie at Coloba, near the Gateway of India and the Taj Mahal Hotel. It is a French style cafe with a good seating arrangement and leisurely ambiance that kind of reminds you of the various sidewalk cafes in Europe. Only that this is not a sidewalk cafe, it's a proper indoor cafe. As soon as you enter the place, you cannot miss the display of desserts on your left. I think it's a nice ploy by the management to suck you in as soon as enter the place; you don't feel like going out again till you've had something.

I am told the breakfast spread is the best at LPQ and that's the one must-have meal here. But the first time I went there, it was evening and I had purposely timed it in such a way that I could have something substantial. Though on a Sunday evening that it was, having an empty stomach is not easy because Sunday is Dhansakh day and my mum's dhansakh- or anyone's for that matter- can be quite filling and heavy. Dhansakh is a thick brown masala dal, chicken or mutton cooked in it, served with brown rice. The dish is quite heavy, so if you have it even at lunch, you can feel quite full till late evening. But in a good way though.

Even so, I tried to time my visit in such a way that we could make the most. My friend Ayeshea is a foodie, so being in her company, especially at places and times like these, is always a pleasure. We had Ham & Chedder Tartine (Rs425) and Roast Chicken Mozzarell (Rs350) as the main course. Then, we followed it up with assam tea (Rs125) for me and Hot Chocolate (Rs175) and finally rounded it up with desserts (chocolate cheesecake; Rs110). I liked the Ham Tartine more than the chicken one, as the latter was a bit dry, but both the tartines were very tasty. I repeated both these Tartines yesterday too when I was there over lunch with mom. The choco cheese cake was very heavy if had after a meal, so I avoided that yesterday. Instead I had the Apple Crumble (Rs195) which was delicious. The Crumble was of the perfect temperature and texture and it melted as soon as you put your fork in it. Served with ice-cream, it's one of LPQ's best desserts.

Overall, the ambiance is easy going. There is sitting arrangement at an upper level too, but both the times I sat on the ground floor. There are individual tables of two to four, a bar table height sitting for two as well as a long oval table- called the community table- that could sit about 10 people at one shot, but is most often used by several different sets of people, to give it a community feel. The place is infested by foreigners, partly I guess, because of its location as you don't see more foreigners at one place in Mumbai than in or around Coloba and the Gateway of India and also partly I think because of the menu and its ambiance.

Yesterday we bought home 2 croissant breads that we had over breakfast today (Sunday) morning and another dessert, Soft Centred chocolate cake (Rs195). My mom also had their homemade Lemonade (Rs125) which was one of the best lemonades I've had. The only other lemonade that I really like to have is served at the Colah's, an ancient Parsi cafe in Navsari, in the State of Gujarat, that serves it in bottles that also appear to be as age-old as the place itself, with a very unique cap, quite unlike anything you see these days. The bottle, the drink, the place; everything smacks of nostalgia in the days of Pepsi and Coke. I wish I could have more of Colah's. But if you're in Mumbai, I suggest you visit LPQ quickly. A meal for two could come at about Rs1,300 and it's totally worth it.


Picture #1: LPQ's bread display
Picture #2: The community table that is very traditional to LPQ
Pictury courtesy: www.cnngo.com

Churches

The serenity of a church is unmistakable and one of the foremost reasons why I'd like to visit a church. Last weekend I was at Mount Mary's at Bandra, one of the few churches I visit regularly, but one of my favourites. I like being in or around Bandra; I've spent two of the most important years of my life here when I did my management as my college was in Bandra (E). Every now and then, we used to hop in a rickshaw, cross the Bandra creek flyover, over to Mehboob studios and then climb the hills of Mount Mary to reach our destination. First the church, then the round circuitous Mother Mary steps on the opposite where you can get a fantastic view of the Arabian sea and Bandra sea face, home of the rich and famous. Afterwards, we used to go to the sea face and sit and have long chats, gossip, bitch and all of that.

And sometimes, on the way up to Mount Mary's, we used to hit the Hearsch Bakery at Bandra (W). I haven't been there in over 10 years now, but when we used to go there so frequently, it used to serve- what I would call it back then- the world's best chicken burger. It was certaintly one of the largest I had ever seen with loads of wafers at an unbeatable price of Rs20 (around the year 1999). I don't know what is its price now, but now that I am reminded of it, I am itching to go back there. For old time's sakes.  :)

But let's stick to churches for now. St. Micheal's Church was the other church I used to go to, again during my Bandra college days. Every Wednesday, it hosts the Novena prayers. You got a wish, you go and attend Novena Prayers for some seven to nine Wednesdays, continuously and your wish gets answered. I used to believe in all this earlier- who doesn't when you are in school or college- but over time I grew out of it, thankfully. But that doesn't mean I am not religious and that I don't believe in the All Mighty. The difference is I no longer bargain, like God I will come to you 10 times and you grant me my wish in return. This is something that- believe it or not- I learnt from a pastor at St. Micheal's Church when one of them was giving sermons on one of the Wednesdays I was there. Wednesdays are very crowded at St.Micheal's; rows and rows of streetside vendors set shop right from Mahim station area, all the way to the Church, selling candles, religious artifacts and all sorts of assortments. A half-hour prayer session led by a priest followed by paying respects to a few other places within and outside the Church area and then I head for the bus-stop for ride back home. I stopped going to the Novena prayers because the journey towards the Church and back home became too much for me as my work pressure went up. Once in a while I go there, though.

My favourite times to be in a church a few days leading up Christmas when Christmas choirs are practicing their carols. The other Church I like visiting is the St. peter's church in Panchgani. It's a magnificent structure from the outside, though it's quite a small church from inside. You can't miss it as you come out of Panchgani town, on your way to Mahableshwar. As you walk past by the Kimmin's school and the Panchgani Club little ahead, the road takes a sharp right and on its left you could see the gates of St. Peter's Church that lead you to the Church up a small hillock. Except for Sundays I think where there are masses, the Church is practically deserted on most of the days.

Picture courtesy: Wikipedia

How to get UID

I got my UID (Unique Identification number) earlier today. Though we have many banks in our locality, presently only Central Bank of India is offering this facility. But I hear other banks in other localities are also acting up as enrollment centres. Check please.

For those of you who don't know what UID is, this is a unique identification number being given out by the Government of India to each Indian citizen. It sort of legalises your existence and gives you a bonafide certificate because it not only accounts for your permanent residence, but also takes in your fingerprints, picture and your eye image. Here's a simple guide on how to get your UID:

• Check with your local bank branch whether UID is being offered or not. 
• To the best of my knowledge, only public sector banks have been allowed to set up UID registration desks (enrollment centres) inside their branches; i do not know about the status of private sector banks
• If the enrollment centre happens to be a bank, you may or may not be the account holder of the bank. If you are the account holder already of the bank that doubles up as an enrollment centre, you don't need to submit your photograph
• Get UID forms from the bank, fill them and submit the same with supporting documents
• You need a PAN card and a residence proof such as electricity bills, telephone bills, passport, ration card and so on. Any one of the eligible residence proof need be submitted. 
• Take 2 copies each of all the forms and supporting documents; the UID enrollment form, PAN card and your residence proof. Reason being, your bank branch (enrollment centre) will keep one set of all the documents with itself and the other set of documents will go to the government.
• Once you go to the enrollment centre, you will need to get them verified first. At the Central Bank of India, there are two separate counters for this purpose. Once the verification is done, stand in the UID enrollment queue, which is a separate queue as I said. 
• Nobody told us that verification is required, as a result of which, a lot of time gets wasted if you scramble to do it all at the last minute.
• Once your turn comes in the UID enrollment queue, they will take down your details, take your photograph (I don't know why people smile for such pictures; they aren't going up on facebook, are they?) and finger prints.
• You will get a receipt. Save this receipt and you can check your UID status online, later.

Tip: UID enrollment takes place Mondays to Saturdays. It's better to go on a weekday as there is much less rush and the UID officer is generally seen whiling away his time. Saturdays being a holiday for many, generally sees a lot of rush and much longer queues. Saturdays are also half-days for banks; rest of the days are full days.
If there is a long queue, sometimes UID enrollment per person takes a lot of time as systems may not work as efficiently. 

Things I wish are banned from Indian TV

Before Indian Television goes deep down in the dog's ass and comes out as poop (since it has already gone to dogs, in a matter of speaking), here's my list of five things I wish are banned from TV.

Fewer and shorter ad breaks
yeah yeah we need ads to sustain television and the print media and all that jazz, but must we have a 10-minute ad break in between movies, every 12 minutes? There have been times when I have surfed up to 10 channels and each of those channels had advertisements played, no kidding. A 3-hr movie takes four and half hours to wrap up. There's a reason why we see international film awards like Oscars and Golden Globe Live on TV (they're big prime time shows abroad) but till date I do not remember seeing an Indian movie television award show Live. Why? It's all those ad breaks, stupid. Whilst ad breaks make commercial sense, too many- and longer- ad breaks break our rhythm and make tv less enjoyable.

Slow motions
A few years back during the Bombay Parsi Panchayat trustee elections that were held across Parsi colonies and baugs across Mumbai, I got an SMS joke. Some of these colonies had special queues for senior citizens. The joke went something like this: "If a majority of bawajis are senior citizens, we need special queues for the youngsters and not for seniors". Similarly, if 70% of a TV serial episode is in slow motion, its sanctity goes down. Slow motions are perhaps crucial for a few prominent shots or scenes. Presently, if slow motions were to go alltogether, a half hour tv serial episode could get done in 10 minutes. But here's the most bizarre thing about slo-mo: people's entry on award show stages (delay telecast) shown in slow motion!!!

Leave social issues to governments and NGOs
Let's face it. TV is business, lead actors get paid a bomb and a lot of public adulation. Nobody works for charity. This is television, not some NGO. So while it's okay to make TV serials to create awareness or highlight some social plight, a cursory glance though most of our serials tell us that happiness is in short supply in India. Nukkad, Yeh Jo Hain Zindagi Sriman Srimati, Hum Paanch, Indradhanush and many more such gems are sorely missed. Its a charade to make dozens of modern day crappy TV that showcase only sadness and all sorts of atrocities on women and then run disclaimers claiming they don't mean disrepect to any citizen or some moral lesson of the day at the end of each episode. We don't need your sympathies, we need good tv.

Volume control the news debates
News debates are getting louder by the day. Take a look at this debate on Times Now on the day when Dhoni was accused by some people to play to the gallery, during the second India - England test. While everyone wants to be heard, debates are more cacophony and less intellectually stimulating these days. Politicians want to be heard and they won't stop talking till they are heard. Many other civilians on tv suffer from the same malady. At times, 5 people talk at the same time, while Arnab Goswami, Rajdeep Sardesai & Co try to bring some order. Can't they just mute the loudmouths when it gets too much? Surely, newsroom technology is much advanced these days. If the guy doesn't shut up, press the button.


Emotional verdicts on talent competition
Nobody likes to lose. And judging by many talented candidates on these shows, there is no shortage of talent in India. But the one thing that TV producers need to coach the participants is that losing is natural. Whilst we all strive to win, there is no need to get so shocked and  awed if you don't go through. And soft ball judges who feel guilty pronouncing loss results should better stay away from becoming judges. Give me Simon Cowell, Peers Morgan or our Farah Khan anyday. Atleast they are honest; if you are not fit for the competition, you're told off in clear words "Do not waste yours- and our- time."

Do Radio taxis turn down short distances?

Mumbai Mirror newspaper did a good story recently about how radio taxis in Mumbai turn down short-distance passengers and usually mostly entertain long distance ones. I had a similar experience myself last week. On 5 August, I had to travel out of Mumbai and I had to catch a 7 am train from CST station. My house is about 4-5 kms away. On 4 August, about 9 am (only a little less than 24 hrs away) I called Meru cabs. They put me on hold for about 2 minutes, came back and refused the cab saying "there are no cabs available for that time slot in your area".

So I hung up and decided to call them again, this time pretending that I have to go to the airport (very long distance). They again put me on hold, came back and told me that the cab is available. I asked then "are you sure that the cab is available?" They said (not in exactly the same words) "Yes sir the cab is available, we wouldn't tell you otherwise if it's not available". So once they confirmed my order, I said that I wish to change my order and now aim to go to CST. Stunned for couple of seconds, they said they will now put me hold again and check the availability. My protests fell on deaf ears as they came back to me after a few minutes and said that the cab is not available. When I asked them why the cab was available for airport and not for CST, they gave me a flimsy excuse which was something like there was another pickup order waiting for the same cab in the morning at / near the airport so that cab needed to be there. I protested that the customer gets to decide the destination, not the cab. But it did not yield any result, and finally I hung up after registering my protest.

Then, I called up Mega Cabs. Again, I first asked for CST. I was quickly refused in a similar manner. Then, I called up again for the (fake) airport pickup and they agreed. The moment they said the cab is available to go to the airport, I told them I changed my mind and now wished to go to CST station. They put me on hold, came back after a few minutes and said the cab is not available. Then, as if it is a big consolation, the call centre employee told me to call back on 5 August about 90 minutes before our departure to check the availability of the cab. I do not understand, if I have to go to the airport, they accepted my bookings. But for CST, I have to call up at the last minute?

When radio taxis were launched in Mumbai a few years ago, they came as a breather from our usual black and yellow cabs. Radio taxis offered a promising future; clean and modern cars, well-mannered drivers, air-conditioned cabs, electronic meters that do not cheat and the freedom to go anywhere we want. Unfortunately, as the Mumbai Mirror story showcases and our own experiences, radio taxis have deteriorated and they too now refuse short distances. Atleast as per our experiences. The Mumbai Road Transport Office (RTO) should take cognizance of this deteriorating service and pull up these taxis. Mega cabs regularly send me SMSs advertising the so-called high quality of their service and the so-called convenience they offer to people who "party late at night and need a safe cab to reach home". Alas, it's a mirage.

Harry Potter finale is the grandest ever

Ten years, seven books, eight movies and a mindbogglingly finale close to the Harry Potter franchise. And what better way to close the chapter in 3-D. To ensure we get confirmed seats, we booked the 9.30 am show at Imax, Wadala. I don't remember going to a cinema hall that early in the day, ever. The action starts soon enough; first a recap of the last scene of the first part, Voldemort's access to the Elder Wand, followed by a grim look at Hogwarts patrolled by the Dementors who seem to be standing right next to your seat if seen through those 3-D goggles. It's surreal; you know in less than three hours it's all going to come to an end, no more anticipating the release of J.K.Rowling's books, no more reading the morning papers with pictures of children with the happiest faces as if they've won the treasure hunt after braving 5-mile long serpentine (thankfully not the Nagini types) queues in cold weather of foreign shores, with their latest Harry Potter books- sometimes personally signed by the author Ms Rowling- no more scouting on You Tube for a trailer of an upcoming Harry Potter movie and as far as I am concerned, no more anticipating to borrow the book from my nieces and waiting desperately to run off to Panchgani on a holiday armed with the particular Harry Potter book of the movie that is just about to release.

That's what I used to do; I never read the books well in advance, as soon as they hit the stands, fresh from the press for the first time ever, definitely not finishing the books in those crazy two to three hours that kids these days do with Harry Potter books. Even soirees last longer than that. My strategy was to pick up a book whose movie was about to release. Read that book a good two or three months before its movie version was to release, have the book fresh in my mind and then go to watch the movie without the knowledge of what has happened in subsequent versions. That way, I thought I could enjoy and appreciate the movies better.

The first part of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was much tamer than the grand finale, but the setting was perfect. Part-II moves fast, cuts out all the unnecessary riff-raff, the director cleverly assumes you're on the plot and read the book, and sticks to the bare essentials. The ending is changed a bit, but the ride is as thrilling as you'd ever imagine. Several moments stands out, especially the sensational break-in and the daring escape from the Gringotts Bank, the fortification of Hogwarts Castle by Professor McGonagall and team and Snape's touching encounter with Harry Potter. I also felt the 3-D experience to be more pronounced here than in Avataar but that's maybe because I am a Harry Potter fan and I never really much cared for Avataar. The Dementors- if seen through the 3-D goggles- will seem to be standing right next to you. Lord Voldemort lights up the screen every time he appears ; brilliant Ralf Fiennes will ensure his performance will go down as one of the most feared villains of cinematic history. Rowling's insistence on having only British actors work in Harry Potter franchise has paid off. To me- and countless Harry Potter fans- this will be one of the most memorable chapters of our lives, to have lived through the Harry Potter days, books, movies, spells and Hogwarts.