Saawariya - Boring to the Core

I came out of the cinema hall a couple of hours back after watching a three-hour torture called Sawariya. Coming from one of India's well-known film-makers, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, I expected much more that what I saw. No wait, I expected a movie, and all I was bombarded with, were songs, once every 10 minutes or so. Despite being a musical, a movie must still have a story. Else, it's akin to watching Channel [V] or MTV.

Boy meets girl, falls in love, girl loves someone else, boy dances, sings, prances around dreaming about her and trying to woo her with nothing but his smile, songs and dances. This is the movie's story.

Shot on a grand scale, thanks to the larger-than-life sets of a fairy-tale town, reminiscent of Moulin Rouge, the movie traces the "story" of a boy and his encounter and subsequent wooing of this girl that he first spots in a lonely street on a windy night. What transpires eventually, I can't tell you, purely out of ethics. Although you would probably thank me if I tell you and spare you the trauma of enduring this loony tale.

Saawariya has no story; the main reason behind its pathetic execution. Newcomers, Ranbir Kapoor and Sonam Kaoor hold promise, especially Ranbir. Sonam, despite having a good screen presence, was quite average. Her laughter was one of the most artificial I've heard in recent times. So was Ranbir's enthusiasm. While Salman Khan has a very small role to play, it is Rani Mukherji who gets on to your nerves. One of her worst performances in recent times, she should not put Saawariya on her resume. The only bright spot of the movie is the title song.

Media reports estimate that Saawriya was made at a cost of Rs 400 million. What a colossal waste of money. Saawariya is strictly avoidable as I found it to be the worst Hindi film I have watched in years. I wasted Rs 60 on the movie ticket. Lucky I didn't go watch it in a multiplex! Bhansali, the next time you think of making a musical, perhaps you should watch 'Chicago'. That is what I call a hit musical, with good music, a great story, and awesome performances. Now will you please refund my Rs 60, Bhansali?

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